Diary of a Ship's Captain
by scgirl-317
Summary: As Horatio begins a new career as a commander, he begins to fill the pages of a new journal. Follows the A&E series, picking up after "Retribution".
1. Chapter 1

Title: Diary of a Ship's Captain

Author: scgirl_317

Summary: As Horatio begins a new career as a commander, he begins to fill the pages of a new journal. Follows the A&E series, picking up after _Retribution_.

A/N: Italics take place outside of the entry.

A/N 2: I really loved the relationship between Archie and Horatio in the movies; they truly loved each other (in the straight sense of the word). I was so glad they didn't just kill him off in the first movie as was done in the books. Archie probably was my favorite character. I thought Horatio might wish that he was there to at least talk to about everything that happened after _Retribution_, so I devised the following entries in Horatio's journal…

* * *

Journal Entry

Dear Diary

_Horatio sighed as he stared at the page. It didn't seem fitting that an entry should simply begin. There needed to be some kind of heading, but nothing seemed quite appropriate._

_Starting a new journal had seemed like a good idea. It seemed to match the rest of his life. He had been promoted; he was now a ship's captain; he had been granted a new lease on life, as it were, after the court martial. It was a lease that came at a high price._

_Suddenly, an idea came to him. It was somewhat unorthodox, but so had been his career in His Majesty's navy. Dipping the pen in the ink, he began again..._

Dear Archie-

How I wish you were here. I confess that I find the task before me rather daunting without your support. Taking command of a captured ship is one thing. Being granted the command of a navy vessel is another thing entirely.

One of the Spanish sloops we captured has been rechristened _Retribution_, and Commodore Pellew has promoted me to commander and placed me as captain. I appreciate his belief in my capabilities and shall endeavor to honor his faith in me. It is my goal to be a captain as great as Commodore Pellew, but I fear I will disappoint him.

I owe you a great debt, Archie, one I could never repay even were you alive. I have sincere doubts regarding the outcome of the court martial had not you taken the fall—if you'll pardon the phrase—for Captain Sawyer falling into the hold. Commodore Pellew is resigned to it, but it pained me to see you laid to rest without the honor you deserve. No greater friend could any man have. I will endeavor to make sure your sacrifice was not in vain.

This entry must be cut short, as the ship is ready to embark, and I am needed on deck.

Signed, Commander Horatio Hornblower, Captain, H.M.S. _Retribution_.

* * *

No greater love hath any man than he who would lay down his life for a friend...


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I need to print a qualifier for a previous statement. Technically, Kennedy doesn't die (though I haven't read all of the books, so I may not have gotten there yet). But the Archie Kennedy as we know and love him from the movies is a work of complete fiction. In the books (again, I haven't read all of them), he takes up all of _maybe_ two pages. Kennedy as written in "Duel/Even Chance" is actually a conglomeration of three characters: Hether was terrorized by Simpson, Hale was the epileptic who drifted away in the jolly boat, and then there's Kennedy himself. Taking Hale's part into consideration, Kennedy should have died in the movies. Ioan Gruffud said in an interview that Archie was supposed to die in "Duel/Even Chance", but that they liked his character so much they brought him back. Okay, next chapter..._

* * *

Dear Archie-

The war has been over for six months and there is a tenuous peace between England and France. Unfortunately, this means that there is little use for warships in His Majesty's navy. _Retribution _was decommissioned and my promotion was disallowed. I am once again a leftenant, resigned to half-pay.

I found lodgings in Portsmouth, a boarding house with a view of the harbor. Each day, I look out my window and watch as the ships float idly on the water. I confess I am at a loss on land. There is little to occupy my time. I do occasionally visit the Officer's Club, where Commodore Pellew allows me to play at cards. I fancy I have become rather good, "good" being defined as my winnings usually outnumber my losses.

While Portsmouth is a harbor town, there are few people I know here. I have developed a sort of friendship with my landlady's daughter Maria. She always seems happy to see me when I return from the docks. Going to see the ships lifts my spirits, if only for a little while. I doubt I shall be ever completely happy unless at sea.

Fortunately, that may come about in the not too distant future. There are rumblings from France that a nobleman has taken it into his head to take over. Napoleon Bonaparte has apparently built up a sizeable army and is intent on more than simply France. Rumors float around that he aims to take over all of Europe. Hopefully this means the navy will be recalled soon.

_A knock at the door interrupted him._

"_Enter."_

"_Pardon the interruption, Mr. Hornblower, but supper will be ready shortly," Maria announced, sticking her head in the door._

"_Thank you, Maria. I will be down presently."_

_Maria offered a shy nod and retreated through the door. Horatio turned back to his journal._

Your cheerful disposition would make this infernal waiting a bit more pleasant.

Signed, H. Hornblower.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Archie-

Admiral Pellew has reinstated my promotion and placed me as captain of the _Hotspur_. I have been tasked to take a Frenchman to meet a contact who may give us a better idea as to the current French landscape. The commission caught me off guard, but it has been eagerly accepted.

Even more good news, I have as my first leftenant Mr. Bush from the _Renown_. Like me, he has been land-locked since the end of the war. He and I met several days ago by chance, and he was waiting for me when I returned from meeting with Admiral Pellew. We are glad to be out to sea again, and even more glad to be in such agreeable company.

There is one piece of regrettable news, however. Matthews and Stiles have remained among my crew, but it is unfortunate that Stiles has managed to become captain's steward. I hadn't the heart to put him ashore, and he said he could cook. I know you're laughing, I can practically hear you cackling. "Poor Horatio, such a pushover!" Yes, well, I'll let my growling stomach do the arguing for me. He almost caught the entire ship on fire for leaving the stove door open! I hated having to punish him for it, as I know it could not have been intentional, but such is the lot of a captain.

That infernal Major Cotard can not seem to avoid causing a ruckus. I had better see what is the matter. Your even temper would be a great help right now.

Signed, H. Hornblower, Captain, H.M.S. _Hotspur_


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Archie-

Good lord, what have I done?

I care about Maria, I care about her deeply. But marriage? Have I lost my mind? What was I thinking, asking her to marry me? We're at war. There couldn't be a worse time to get married.

I just wanted to take care of her; that was it. She wouldn't accept any money I offered for the sake of her reputation, but there was nothing untoward about it. I simply wished to repay the kindness she had shown me when I was a lodger and she the only real friend I had. I regret that I have been so little in society outside the navy that it had never occurred to me that by accepting my aid, she would tarnish her reputation. I am well versed in life at sea, but I fear I have much yet to learn about life on land.

It is too late to back out now, as the ceremony is tomorrow. William has agreed to stand up with me and I am glad for it, for I fear my nerves may get the best of me if left to my own devices. Not for the first time do I wish you were still alive. Your steady support would be a comfort to my frayed nerves. I shall be thinking of you tomorrow, so I suppose, in a way, you will be there.

Signed, H. Hornblower


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Archie-

You will never believe it. I am to be a father, Archie! A father! I don't know whether to be thrilled or terrified.

Maria told me at dinner tonight, and she has been in ecstasy ever since. I tried not to let her see my trepidation, so she is hopefully none the wiser about my inner turmoil.

I will be the first to admit that I was a sorry excuse for a husband. That, however, can be amended. I am aware of my folly, and can therefore endeavor to correct my ways. One does not know if one is a suitable father until the child is grown, too late for any mid-course corrections. What if I am not fit to be a parent? It is no longer simply my life at stake; someone else's life depends on my making the right choices. What if my child grows up to be a murderer because I failed at being a father? What if…?

I know what you must be thinking. I spend too much time thinking on "what ifs". I really am happy about this development, despite my fear. The timing is not terrible, either, as Admiral Pellew promoted me to post captain before he left. As the junior post captain in the fleet, it will be some time before I receive a posting, I believe, even though we are at war. For once, I believe I won't be sorry for any down time.

I've just thought of a name. Maria would be thrilled with that. If I should be blessed with a son, I shall name him Archie, in honor of my dearest friend. What an uncle you would have made.

Signed, H. Hornblower.

* * *

There you have it. I hope you've enjoyed my little foray into Horatio's mind.


End file.
